About a year ago, I actually sat down and thought about my earliest memory. I was about three and a half, and I was with my parents in Madrid. We were walking through a shady area and I saw a big, pink building that I really wanted to go into. I thought it was the "Barbie theatre," although my mom later told me that it was actually some kind of strip club. I ended up throwing a tantrum in the middle of street because I desperately wanted to see Barbie in the "Barbie theatre." I don't believe that my personality is the same now as it was when I was three (I'm not even 100% sure I had a personality/identity), but I do feel continuous with the person I was back then (I did share "that person's" point of view, after all).
My earliest memory was similar in its theme of being very young and acting in a way that, in retrospect, feels inappropriate. Your thoughts that the strip club was a "Barbie" theater shows how innocent and naiive you were about the situation which explains your reasoning for throwing a tantrum. How did you feel when your parents explained the situation from an adult POV? Do they bring up the story often? Do you get embarrassed about it? With my memory, I was involved in the same time of social situation where I acted inappropriately, but at the time it seemed justified. I get embarrassed thinking about it, and get annoyed when people bring up the story because I insist that "I didn't know any better!". A comment in response to my post illustrated how we all go through this type of time period (which Erikson describes as Initiative vs. Guilt) where we are exploring the word and trying to figure things out for ourselves. Erikson says that encouragement during this stage (say your parents had maybe, let you touch the door of the Barbie Theatre, or had bought you a new Barbie instead) and encouraged your initiative to want to decide what you wanted to do and where you wanted to go would allow you to develop in a positive way. Erikson also believes that if you parents had made you feel guilty about your desires to see the strip club and made you feel ashamed about your curiosity and desires, you may have difficulty later on in life as you attempt to take initiative for yourself. Although it's just a theory, I almost feel as if it holds true in my situation, because I know that my parents made me feel extremely guilty concerning my behavior, and I think it has an effect on the way I behave today since I fear scolding and worry (too much!) about the approval of others. I'd be curious to see if you had similar experiences, or can identify will this concept in any way.
I think it is really entertaining that you though a strip club was a barbie theater. This definitely shows the innocents that we have as children. I also think that it was very introspective of you to sit down prior and think of your first memory.
