This dream began as I am sitting at the Logan Airport baggage claim, waiting for my parents to pick me up. Its not Thanksgiving yet, but Ive caved into the [real life] harsh vows that I made to never return home, and took a trip back to see them. Im waiting with my violin case and my giant red suitcase, and my shoulders are hurting. It is late at night. My hair is a mess, and Ive just eaten a chocolate croissant, so Im feeling unhealthy and lethargic. I hear my phone buzz, so I ready myself for their arrival, but instead it is a text message from them asking me to take the subway system, the T home. I roll my eyes, but comply because along the way Ill be able to pick up a sandwich form my favorite Panini place since I havent had a good Panini since before I came to CMU. I am tired and in dull pain, but I trudge along with my violin case on my back and my suitcase in hand. As I sit on the T, I use logical reasoning to decide that getting the Panini would mean going out of my way, and might leave the possibility of missing the commuter rail that I had intended to catch. I go straight to the commuter rail station and sit in South Station, but its dark. Ive only taken the train home very late once, and it was with my sister. I want to get more foods, but the only options are unhealthy. McDonalds is open, the Master Wok is open and the Pizza Regina is serving its last slices. Before I even make a decision, the train comes, and I have no time for either. I run to catch it, and I am feeling angry because my shoulders hurt so much, and the act of running increases the pain tenfold. I make it to the train and sit down in my seat, creating a tight space between my violin and suitcase and I feel relieved that they arent on my back, so I fall asleep. When I wake up, Im finally at my stop, and I receive another buzz from my parents who ask if I can call one of my friends and ask for a ride home. I tell them that most of my friends wouldnt be willing to pick me up at 12:30 AM, (I am annoyed and embarrassed that my parents even asked that of me) so I begin to walk. (In real life, the distance from the station to my house if a 45 minute walk, but in the dream, it wasnt more than the equivalent of a couple of blocks). As I reach the front door, tired and exhausted with a fresh wave of pain ringing through my arms, I open the door and instead of seeing my house, Im in a dark room. There is light illuminating a center stage of my parents (or evil menacing versions of them) are sitting at the kitchen table. They are both eating seafood, which is my favorite food. My dad is eating scallops and my mom is eating salmon and my younger brother is sharing my Dads plate. When I ask them where my food is, they laugh and tell me that its not their job to make me food. They say I should make my own. I notice that my brother is eating off of my Dads plate and I ask if I can also have some, and they say no, I can share with my mom, but I hate Salmon so I refuse. I am too tired and upset to make my own dinner, so instead, I go upstairs (by now the house has turned back to normal) and lay in bed making a vow that I will NOT be coming home for Thanksgivingand then I wake up [still in anger] and record my dream.
I believe that the dream comes from an underlying fear of being forgotten. Once at college, parents are not there to constantly supervise and offer support. The basis of coming home because you 'may never return home' again supports the theory that you are afraid your home will not be there for you in the future.
Furthermore, throughout the dream there are details that center around the idea of being alone. Restaurants are closing, you are traveling by yourself, and most importantly, your parents try to delay your arrival. These dilemnas may come from the fear of being independent and alone in college. For the first time, parents are not right behind your every move, and you must make decisions and plans alone.
Reaching your house finding that your family ignores you and your needs is a manifestation of your fears coming together. Your home is no longer a home and you are no longer a part of the family. The 'evil' lighting is indicative of the cruel people your family has seemingly transformed into.
